Sitting

Sat zazen last night for the first time in a LONG while. I could tell it has been a while. My mind would just not settle down. I didn’t even have the patience to count my exhalations. This tells me I’ve been away from it for too long. I need to make a better effort to get to the zafu EVERYDAY, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. I could barely get through that last night. It’s funny, there’s very little negative self talk this time. It’s nice. The facts are the facts, I haven’t been sitting on a regular basis and when I do sit down and begin to quite my body-mind, there will be resistance. That’s it. No, "should haves" or "could haves", it is what it is.

You know, feeling this way is beginning to feel more natural. What I mean is, it used to feel "natural" to have all that negative self talk and self-flagellation over not meditating regularly, now it doesn’t. I like this way of living much better :-).